Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Metaphorically Speaking


Not enough teeth in your literary bite?

Need some linguistic cilantro on your verbal palette?

Having some trouble with them metaphors?

We're here to help!

Charles Parsons and I would like to introduce our Full Service Consulting Firm, METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING.

If our Bachelor of Arts in English has taught us anything, it's how to relate everything in our lives to something completely unrelated. As this is our only marketable trait, we feel the need to scream it from the mountain tops--metaphorically speaking, of course.

Maybe your life is a boat against the current. . .

Career choices are grinding your gears. . .

You are, like, totally turned on right now. . .

(Actually, that last one is more of a simile.)

Don't wait, call now. We are your gateway to literary brilliance!

3 comments:

Charles said...

Oh please! Please help me! I totally want to be a part of this! Wait, what? What? I'm already a part of this? Oh, okay. Okay, good.

theodore said...

you really painted yourself into a corner on that one.

Lisa said...

life is just one god damned metaphor after another.