IDEAS

• COMIC SANS T-shirt
• Old School Underground
• Ruinophilia
• U of M
• Cleveland cred.
• 'Dimoralizer' -- 17 stacker sandwich
• Meeting Ralph Nader at Mpls Super Rally -- awkwardness of being sung to from members of 98 Degrees
  
• 'Bi-Partisan Politics is Rad' T-shirt -- two arm wrestling hands are connected by the same arm.
• Ashley Brooke Toussant - All Songs in English
  
• --MCCAIN: I love America 'THIS MUCH!'

• Cleveland 3.1 (the return of) -- http://www.clevelandthreepointone.com
• The effectiveness of spraying Sgt w/water when he claws at couch
  
• I like Cleveland more than Chicago
  

IDEAS

Here is my response to the new layout of Let's Work With Orphans.

• AirCats, 1978 - film
• dBR - deBiase Ratio (50/45/4.5/.5) - theory
• Mall C - The Place to Be
• Nader, MSP, CHI - 14 hrs on a mega bus
  
• Cuyahoga County Commissioner - campaign
  
• Cleveland, Olympics, 2016
• Grad programs, December, a portfolio
• Surly bikes and a cross country trip, 2009, Summer
• Lewis & Clark Trail
• Algaeoleum and the future
  
• Buying a handgun; possibly an Uzi
• Fall - quarterlies; Winter - novels; Spring - writing; Summer - nothing
• I need to get back to work

Also, [insert obligatory apology for not having posted in five months -- the longest lapse in the history of NOM/PMD].

My bad.

--dB

exercise*

Funny Names, etc.

• Desert Town: Cactopolis; Sagebrush Gulley Gap

• Race Horse: Elmer; Dynamite Joe

• Literary Magazine: Nomenclature; Glass Cases; Vernacular Quarterly

• Rock Band: The Cysts; Winter Solstice; Fatal Sloth

• Summer Cottage: Reservoir Bend; Crabtree Knoll

• Triplets: Marcus, Milo, and Montepilliar

• Liqueur: Country Road; Dirt Water

• Football Team: Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Exploding Footballs; The Oil City Derricks
  

• Diner: Jack’s Flaps; Maple Syrup A-Go-Go; Coffee & Water; Cerealism

• New Religion: Post-Scientology ; Quarencia; Ascension House; Labor Temple

• New Planet: Exodia; Elipticus

• Polluted River: Rainbow Run; Turtle Creek

• Poetry Collection: Wheelchair Tracks Down a Flight of Stairs; Rhetoric, Whimsy, & Naval Gazing
  

• Chihuahua: Paris; Bella; Taco; Bruce Banner [a.k.a. The Incredible Hulk]

• Burglar: Clutch Grabson; James St. Nelis

• Beauty Salon: Real Eyelashes; You Nailed It! ; Fried, Dyed, Blow Dried

• New Diet: Fruit Rinds; Barf! ; Hard-boiled; Six Pack in Six Steps; Tightly Wound; Sexy & Sinewy
  

• Soap Opera: Expressions; When The Sun Goes Down; Fiesta

• Bar: The High Dive; Peanut’s Shell; The Bonfire; Beer Spritzers; No Firearms on the Premises ; The Tipsy Tumbler; Sailor’s Welcome

• Lipstick Color: Tubular Turquoise; More Goth Than You

• Yacht: Greg’s Seamen; I Brake for Manatees; The Co-anchor; Salty Dog; Fore Sail; Aft Backwards
  

--------------------

*This exercise was provided by the esteemed Zee Edgell in a Fiction II class I took a little over a year ago. It was pulled directly from the What If? text by Anne Bernays and Pamela Painter: "Name the following things. Imagine stories they might go in. Remember that tone is important, so choose both an earnest name and a farcical one."

Smorgasbord

I realize it has been a long time since last posting to NOMENCLATURE. For that, I apologize. As opposed to posting something of substance, I decided it best to gitchyall caught up on my life, of late.

• Right now, at this very second, I am compiling one of those iTunes’ "Soundtrack to Your Life" playlists. You shuffle your library and the resultant list (supposedly) tells the story of your life. I caught wind of this via Let’s Work With Orphans, which, in turn, caught wind of it via Kent media mogul William Techmeyer. As opposed to listing the tracks here and now, I’ll instead refer you to the comment I posted on the LWWO site. As a pretentious audiophile, I’ve already mapped my life out via the mixtape, and can say, quite honestly, that I would have chosen differently most of the time. But this list did make me laugh on occasion.

• Speaking of mixtapes, I’ve been working diligently at my ‘Phenomenology of the Mixtape’ project. The essay will build upon the framework provided by Nick Hornby’s High Fidelity, in terms of the correct way to construct a mix and its social properties. Over the years, I’ve made many a mix, and have come to view myself (what with my tenure as a college radio DJ and hopeless romantic) as a preeminent critic of mixology. Stay tuned to rockitecture. these next few weeks for developments.

• Feist’s new album, The Reminder, is pretty much the best thing that’s ever happened to me. This optimistic LP is perfect for the warm weather months. My favorite track is "I Feel it All." Keeping in the mixtape spirit, the song fits neatly between Arrah and the Ferns’ “Skylark” and Jose Gonzalez’s “Crosses” on a mix.

• And here they are:
• Arrah and the Ferns - Skylark
• Feist - I Feel It All
• Jose Gonzalez - Crosses

• I’ve been working on some short fiction projects at the request of people who are far more creative than me, and thusly, have more control over my work than, say, I do. The fiction pieces may end up on here, but that will come at the behest of my publisher, whomever he or she may be, as these people have very rigid rules as to who may or may not read their publishee’s work. In all actuality, these short stories could propel me into a new tax bracket. NOMECLATURE may very well become a subscription site—THESE STORIES AND MORE FOR ONLY TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS AN HOUR!
• Don’t worry, I’ll prorate it for you.
  

• The guys at Algebra Teahouse on Murray Hill Road just gave me a free falafel sandwich. This place keeps getting better and better. If you’ve never been, Algebra is an independent coffee shop in the Little Italy neighborhood of Cleveland Heights. It’s replaced the Lee Road Library as my bastion of creativity. And for one reason: milkshakes.
  
• Seriously though, the place is really nurturing. The bohemian décor and avant-garde clientèle make it quite the conducive writing space. My heart and soul throb with inspiration. It often feels like indigestion, but a good sort of indigestion, like you know you’ll feel so much better once it’s out of you. There’s something about freeform wood furniture that lights a fire inside me, you know? The contingent of artists that run the place are assembling a creative writing ‘zine called the Cleveland Reader. The free bi-monthly publication is accepting submissions for poetry, prose, photos, and graphic novels. If any writers or artists out there are interested, talk to someone from Algebra; they’d be more than happy to help.
  
• I proposed a concept for a Cleveland-based live action comic book. Under the working title “The Adventures of NOMENCLATOR,” the project will deal with finding creativity in a shrinking post-industrial city. Here is an early production panel:
  

• Just bought a bag of Reese’s Pieces from a girl that wandered into Algebra. She said it’s for her sister’s new uniform at Charles Dickens. I know who Charles Dickens is, but have no idea what or where. I’m assuming it’s a place, or, maybe, a state of mind. . .
• I do know that I like Reese’s Pieces.
  

• I performed at Carrie Callahan's Chucklef*ck Comedy Show a few weeks ago. No, I am not trying to break into stand-up comedy, though I did read a “humourous” essay on the theft of my car.
• I’m hoping to perform, with the help of burgeoning urban designer/architectural critic, Theodore Ferringer, a new piece on the re-re-branding of Cleveland. We plan to satirize the Cleveland 2.0 project. This should be ready to launch in two to three weeks.
  
• Chucklef*ck: where comedy, urban design, and shoegaze come to hang out and do whatever.
  

• And, finally, heading to Chicago this weekend. One of the best parts of living in Cleveland: going someplace else.
• Kidding, of course.
  

(Certain to Be Unfulfilled) Goals for Spring Break

Yes, I realize I am no longer in school, and thusly, have no Spring Break (or as I like to call it, Spring Brake). Still, we all need some leisure now and then. And it's like Peppermint always says, "Nay, what is life for but a list of certain to be unfulfilled goals?"

1. Go to Florida
2. a) Begin short story: "Untitled"
b) Begin novel: Love in the Time of Facebook
3. Work on The Postmodern Experience: Season II
(By the way, I'm doing that for you, Parsons.)
4. Go drinking with mum
5. Come into ownership of 1983 Buick LeSabre
6. Drive Jitney back to Ohio
7. Have Parsons wire me gas money in North Carolina
(As compensation for my work on The Postmodern Experience.)
8. Arrive 13 days late to Cleveland
9. Find that Shelia-5 has once again disappeared, this time for good
10. Discover that the problem really did take care of itself
11. Begin new life driving around with, you know, my home boys
12. Do taxes
13. Get married and start a wonderful family

One of the benefits of being out of school is the potential for an infinite Spring Break. Now it's off to bed for me; I've got work at 10:30 tomorrow morning.

(Unfulfilled) Goals Archive