Thursday, February 07, 2008

COMING SOON: Competitive Sleeping

I should have blogged last night, but failed to do so, mainly because I was tired. Instead, I went to bed. I like sleep. It is one of my favorite things to do. Does this make me lazy? Yes. Maybe I should have stayed up and written something. But sleep feels so good.

Last weekend, I was out drinking with some of my lazy-ass friends and the conversation naturally tilted towards sleep and how much we all enjoy it. Mike Sokol was actually asleep at the beginning of the conversation, but a friendly nudge brought him back. I handed him a napkin to wipe the salsa from his elbow, as it had been resting in a bowl during Mike’s barside nap. He was quick to jump in.

As it turns out, Mike is an EXTREME (!!!) sleeper (see: Sleep -- FAIL at Full Power). In fact, if competitive sleeping
was a sporting event, Mike Sokol would be in the pros. He’d be the show. And that show, I’d assume, would be on Spike TV. Mike proposed the idea for a Sleep-Off – a competitive sleeping event that would run over the course of a weekend, and possibly into the next week, depending on the competition.

As for rules, well, we were at a bar and failed to attack the pragmatics of the event. The beer made us drowsy and unable to think in those terms. Thusly, the rules are up in the air at this point, though I would think that contestants should be permitted to pull one (1) all-nighter prior to the event, as a sort of conditioning exercise. This would be akin to eating a pasta dinner before a 5 (five) -k. Contestants should still be allowed to use the restroom, as the hours of unconsciousness could run into the double -- or even triple -- digits. However, upon completion of a bathroom break, the contestant must return immediately to bed.

Now, I consider myself a fan of sleeping, but I don’t think I could necessarily compete. Not with the likes of Mike Sokol. It is sort of like the way I go about cycling: I enjoy it, yes, but I don’t think I have what it takes to do it competitively. But I suppose that is the way it is with most things. Some possess the gift; others do not.

Mike Sokol, though – that boy can sleep!

4 comments:

Geoffrey Bigler said...

this coming from a guy who would sleep right in my face during my bouts with insomnia.

アレックス said...

If there is a competition, I believe you would have a chance even when competing against Sokol. I'll be your coach and make sure all conditions are right; specifically a freezing room with warm, fluffy covers...zzz...

MikeS said...

I was halfway through swallowing a mouthful of coke when I read this post and almost choked on it...damn near started laughing out loud in my cube here at work.

Brilliant post.

You might be able to hang with me in the competitive sleeping arena, but you need to start some serious training.

PS - I also enjoyed how Ted likened me to a bear, hibernating a lot and then waking up to eat. You then jumped in and helpfully added that I was indeed like a bear: Abrasive around other humans and easily angered. You're the best.

katherine said...

damn, sign me up for competitive sleeping. i will stomp you people. especially mike. i once fell asleep during a nine inch nails concert - and my brother can verify it!